PAULINE'S BIZZARE NEWS ITEMS

I just can't believe the stupidity of this one....

Driver fined after following GPS to edge of cliff in England

A driver has been fined after following the directions of his satellite navigation system, leading him to the edge of a massive cliff drop in West Yorkshire, England.

Robert Jones, who is 43 years old, appeared in Calderdale Magistrates Court on Tuesday, representing himself. He was prosecuted by Waseem Raja. Waseem told the court: "The defendant was using a TomTom satellite navigation system. The defendant followed that system to the letter, so much so it led him up a lane clearly unsuitable for motor vehicles."

"The path was such it was not designed for use of motor vehicles yet Mr Jones slavishly continued to follow the satnav system to the point where his eyes and his brain must have been telling him otherwise to such a degree he was not exercising proper control of the vehicle."

On March 22 2009, Robert Jones was driving a BMW 5 Series and was trying to get to his home in Doncaster, South Yorkshire after staying with friends in Todmorden, West Yorkshire. He was unsure of the route home and so followed his satellite navigation system, which was in the car. He continued to follow instructions despite being told that the narrowing dirt track he was driving on was actually a road. At the time the petrol gauge in the car indicated that he had just seven miles of fuel left. Because of this, Jones was desperate to find a filling station. He became so distracted by the sat-nav that he didn't realise his mistakes until he struck a fence on the edge of a 100 foot (30.5 metre) drop. The battery on his mobile phone had run out so he had to walk to a nearby village to get help.

In his defence, Robert told the court: "I might have been an idiot for taking the wrong road or carrying on but I have not driven without due care or attention. I'm sorry it happened. I certainly would not do it again. I drive 5,000 miles a week and I never have had a problem with it. I had no reason not to trust it."

Jones was found guilty of driving without due care and attention. He was fined £370 (US$610) with £500 ($824) costs and ordered to pay a £15 ($24) victim surcharge. He also got six points on his licence and had to pay £1,000 ($1,624) in recovery charges.

A 47-year-old tried to make a diving catch when his 200 hryvnias ($24) fell into a public toilet in the northern Ukrainian city of Chernigov. In his efforts to rescue his cash, he got his arm hopelessly stuck up to his elbow.

The emergency workers removed tiles, drilled the toilet out of concrete floor and cut the outlet pipe, but the man's arm remained trapped in the chute. Hydraulic shears and a plumber's torch were finally used to cut the man free.

The man was unharmed, although 200 hryvnias poorer, while the toilet was completely destroyed.

Rescuers around the world often have to release people who get stuck while trying to retrieve money, identification papers, mobile phones, jewelry and other valuables from toilets.

A year ago a high-speed TGV train in France was delayed for two hours when a man got his arm stuck down a toilet after dropping a cell phone, and this May a U.S. woman was trapped while trying to retrieve a gold tooth that had fallen into the toilet bowl.

A Polish man has finally cleared his name after an 18-month legal battle in which he was accused of kicking his neighbour's bucket.

Legal sources blasted the decision to prosecute Waldemar Wilk, 55, of Mikowice, for damaging a plastic bucket worth less than £3.

Neighbour Alicja Tomankiewicz had claimed that Mr Wilk had kicked the bucket so hard it landed on a bush outside their block of flats.

The case was referred to a municipal court, where he pleaded not guilty, claiming that Mrs Tomankiewicz was still using the allegedly damaged bucket.

He even presented video evidence - taken on his mobile phone - in court.

The court called a video expert, who testified that it was impossible to date the mobile phone footage which could have been taken before Mr Wilk kicked the bucket.

Legal wrangling held up the case and in April, Mr Wilk demanded an expert carry out an experiment to see whether a kick could damage a plastic bucket.

Despite being found guilty after the expert's evidence proved it could have been damaged with a kick, he launched an appeal.

This week, much to Mr Wilk's relief, his campaign for justice finally ended after a district court in Opole dropped the case.

"It should never have even begun," said the judge.

Guy Fawkes dropped for bonfire night

Guy Fawkes was banned by council bosses in east London - and replaced with a Bengali folk tale. Tower Hamlets said it wanted to provide an "alternative" theme to celebrate November 5 and the attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament.

The council commissioned a £75,000 fireworks display entitled the Emperor and the Tiger, which tells the story of the "Moghul Emperor, the Wise Man and the Guardian of the Jungle". As a mock Bengal tiger paces a giant catwalk, fire will light up a "forest" to the sound of Bangla drummers and dancers.

P xx

I KNOW IT IS HALLOWEEN

BUT THIS IS A GENUINE POST.....

Wal-Mart Stores is now catering to its shoppers' needs from cradle to grave.

The world's largest retailer has introduced online sales of caskets, expanding a merchandise selection that spans engagement rings and baby gear to a new major milestone in its shoppers' lives.

Shoppers can choose from the Lady de Guadalupe steel casket for $895 (540 pounds) or a sienna bronze casket for $2,899.00.

Walmart.com spokesman Ravi Jariwala said it is selling the products as a "limited beta test" that launched within the last few weeks.

Wal-Mart has been revamping its merchandise selection in stores and online to expand into categories it believes have high potential for growth.

The funeral service industry generates $11 billion in revenue a year, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. In 2007, the association said the U.S. death rate was 8.0 people per thousand, and that is expected to rise to 9.3 people per thousand by the year 2020.

The caskets do not qualify for Walmart.com's free site-to-store shipping program, where shoppers can buy an item online and have it shipped to a local store for free.

Instead, the website says the caskets require freight delivery to the shopper's preferred address. The estimated shipping cost for the sienna bronze casket is $99.

Competitor Costco Wholesale already sells caskets online.

Just picked this up off the news....

Pilots on missing flight 'were on personal laptops'

Two pilots on the Northwest Airlines flight that last week overshot its destination by 150 miles, sparking fears of a hijacking, have claimed that they were on their personal laptops and lost track of the time.

Published: 12:46AM GMT 27 Oct 2009

Early reports suggested that Richard Cole, the first officer, and Timothy Cheney, the captain, had fallen asleep during the flight of the Airbus A380, with 144 passengers travelling between San Diego and Minneapolis.

Instead, the pair told US investigators they lost track of time while discussing crew scheduling and working on their personal laptops, which violates Northwest Airlines' safety policy.

"The pilots said there was a concentrated period of discussion where they did not monitor the aeroplane or calls from (air traffic controllers) even though both stated they heard conversation on the radio," the National Transportation Safety Board (NTS said after interviewing the pair on Sunday.

"Both said they lost track of time," the safety board said in a report on its investigation, which included disclosures about the nature of the conversation and the use of laptop computers.

The two veteran commercial pilots said they were not fatigued during the evening flight on Oct 21 from San Diego to Minneapolis, countering speculation they may have fallen asleep.

Air controllers and airline dispatchers sought to contact Flight 188 for more than an hour with the plane at 37,000 feet.

Neither pilot was aware of the plane's wayward state until a flight attendant asked them about their scheduled arrival time, the NTSB said.

The captain looked at his flight display data, realised the mistake and then contacted controllers for permission to turn around. The plane landed without incident in Minneapolis.

Delta Air Lines, which owns Northwest, said in a statement the use of laptops or "engaging in activity unrelated to" flying the aircraft violates company policy.

The airline has suspended the pilots pending the outcome of government and internal investigations.

The pilots said they were discussing new monthly crew schedules, which were put in place as a result of Northwest's merger with Delta in 2008.

Investigators are also reviewing information from the plane's flight data recorder.

A man called Stephen Morgan has been charged with criminal damage to two hamburgers worth £5 after becoming involved in an alleged doorstep dispute with a fast food firm.

Morgan, 31, was arrested and taken from his home in handcuffs at the weekend after his family's order with their local pizza parlour in Loughor, near Swansea, arrived minus two burgers.

He is due to make a first appearance at Swansea Magistrates' Court, in south Wales, next Monday.

The incident began when Morgan was at home in with partner Michelle Owen on Saturday evening.

The couple, who have two children, planned to stay in and watch ITV1's The X Factor with other family members.

A dispute is alleged to have started after an order of food with a local pizza parlour arrived without the, no doubt, tasty hamburgers.

Mr Morgan claims it was agreed the group should wait for the rest of the order, he told the South Wales Evening Post.

A dispute is alleged to have started with a delivery man who came to the house later, and £15 compensation was eventually paid out, he claims.

What follows remains unclear, however police visited the address later that evening and arrested Mr Morgan on suspicion of robbery.

He was taken to Swansea Central police station where he was questioned about the incident and held overnight.

A South Wales Police spokesman confirmed that a 31-year-old man was arrested on Saturday evening and has since been charged with causing criminal damage to food valued at £5.

Fish fingers swimming around with marine life have been confusing visitors to London's Sea Life aquarium.

The models, complete with heads, fins and tails, have been causing a stir at the London-based attraction after they were added to the waters following a survey which found that one in 10 children think a fish finger is a real fish.

The unusual fish have been bobbing around in the waters alongside other marine animals with some people actually believing they're real, say the aquarium.

In a recent survey we carried out with schoolchildren, one in 10 actually named a fish finger as a real fish, so we decided to put the public to the test", said Toby Forer, general manager of the London Sea Life Aquarium.

"We've had a lot of fun watching people trying to decide whether our fishy fish really were the source of their frozen tea time favourite but the reasons behind the joke are deadly serious.

"Although awareness of the issues that face our marine life has grown in recent years, partly due to high profile documentaries and the kind of campaigning work we do here, there is still a lack of basic marine knowledge.

"Believing there really is a fish finger fish is laughable stuff, but unless we all become more 'marine aware' the future of our vulnerable oceans is in question."

In the survey, 125 seven-year-olds were asked to name three fish in a questionnaire.

One in ten listed fish fingers. The top three answers were goldfish, clownfish and fish fingers.

Visitor Brian Payne, 28, took his five-year-old daughter to the attraction last week. He said: "She thought they were real to start with but once I explained I think she understood they weren't actually real.

"But they are quite convincing and I can see how little kids might be slightly confused by it.

"They are really funny to see and look quite lifelike bobbing up and down in the waters."

The Fish Finger Family will remain at the London Aquarium until 1st November

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A BIRD....

Carrion crows in Japan wait until traffic stops at the lights, then fly down and place walnuts in front of the car tyres. When the lights change and the cars move off, running over the nuts and cracking them, the birds fly down and pick up their meal.

This was first observed in 1990. Ten years later, crows in California had somehow managed to learn the same trick.

The world’s most comprehensive illustrated online Bible, the Brick Testament, tells the stories of the Good Book – in Lego models.

More than 4,500 illustrations, depicting more than 400 Bible tales from Genesis to Revelations, are displayed online at thebricktestament.com.

Launched in 2001, it is the ongoing project of one man, Brendan Powell Smith, nicknamed “The Reverend”.

He says it is intended to educate people about the Bible “in a way that is fun and compelling, while remaining true to the text of the scriptures.

“To this end, all stories are retold using direct quotes from The Bible.”

It is huge, detailed, occasionally gory and frequently satirical. The excerpts from 1 Samuel are entitled “Saul rejected for incomplete genocide”, after the leader of the Israelites left some sheep and cattle alive after being ordered to exterminate the Amalekites.

Similarly, Saint Stephen is shown saying: “If you ignore a few phrases here and there and completely ignore their original context, [the Scriptures] totally predict Jesus!”

Mr Smith says of the driving force behind his labour of love: "I am not at all religious myself, but have a longstanding interest in religion, the Bible, and the study of ancient Christianity and Judaism, hence the nickname 'The Reverend.'"

The Brick Testament was released in book form in 2003.